Monday, January 7, 2019

Let it Go Already

I read a great quote over the weekend.  I don’t know where it originated but it went like this…

“Trees are Gods way of showing us howlovely it can be to let go of dead things.”

Today, I am writing to you about letting go.   While I’m writing this I’m struggling with the subject myself.  

So I’m just going to let you know a few of the things that I am doing to help move forward.

Some of this I’m sure will seem obvious and some may seem cheesy but its honestly helping me.

First accept what has happened has happened.

It does not matter who’s fault it was, it’s happened and you aren’t getting the toothpaste back in the tube.
Accept it and stop thinking about it.  That is an active and intentional thing you have got to do.  You can pray about it all you want but those people, that hurt will pop up in your mind from time to time and you have got to learn to recognize it and quickly think about something else.
It’s a muscle you will have to build if like me you have spent most of your downtime reliving these events. Luckily it is a choice. Choose to immediately think about something else. A Bible verse your favorite book, a song, something to keep you from focusing on it, that's your token. Make that thing a standard. It's your go to. As soon as thoughts of those people or that action hits your mind switch to your token.
That's straight from my therapist by the way. I had to pay for that and you just got it free for nuthin'.

Next up is Forgive.

You can't forgive until you have accepted that you can't change what happened
Forgive is a big little word. It is super easy to say but incredibly hard to really do.

I have been on both the giving and receiving end of saying it but not doing it.  Heres a clue, if you can’t stop thinking about it, you haven’t forgiven them.  You can say it all you want “Oh I’ve forgiven them” that doesn’t make it true.  If you sit down with someone you trust and that is the main topic of discussion you haven’y forgiven them.  

You HAVE GOT TO FORGIVE THEM. It’s a must. 
This is the hardest part of the process of letting go.  It’s when clarity hits and you see all the little things that were done or you perceived were done to you. 
All the mental and emotional abuse.  That's where unforgiveness will set root.  It’s no longer the big thing it's all the little stuff that lead to it.  
It can even make things worse because you realize you were just a plaything to them.  This means you are keeping record and the Bible tells us Love doesn’t do that.

Forgive them even if they aren’t sorry, accept an apology you’ll never get.

I really want to write something cool like “pray for them, pray for their success”.  I don’t think I can tell you that because sometimes you just have to settle for not getting any pleasure out of something bad happening to them.  Maybe praying for them earnestly will come, but this isn’t the prison yard and you don’t have to pick a fight with the biggest guy on the first day.  So settle for not wishing them ill if you have to.  God will work on the rest.

Letting go is a daily choice. It starts with those 2 things.

So look forward stop looking back. Recognize and bind those thoughts of the past immediately “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:62.  
So stop looking back and plow your own row.

Here are a few tips that helped me (remember I’m still in the process here too).

First and foremost spend time with God, its cliche I know but it is necessary. 
Not essential, Gods not keeping score of how much you read or memorize but necessary. He will reveal things about yourself in those times that you did not know. Sometimes it hurts but it always helps. 
Please even if it’s just a silent drive to work of a morning or a glance at YouVersion on your break or in the bathroom. Find a way.

This next tip is a little hypocritical of me but probably the thing I’m working on the most.  It is going tLove Always! I've been rereading some Bob Goff to come to that little gem.  Love first of course, but after that Love. Then after that, Love. Then after that Love.
o help me beat my cynicism as well. It is simply
This is the true me I want to be and I have no idea how to get there but I’m working on it.  You can definitely pray for me on that.

Which leads me to…

Write a letter.  A letter to to the person or people that hurt you. They don’t have to ever see it but write it.  Be honest about your role and apologize.  Write how they made you feel, and what it has done to you.  This is especially important when the other party doesn’t think they did anything wrong.  Again accept the apology you will never get.

Write another letter to yourself. In that letter apologize to you for your part in whatever the situation was.   Be brutally honest, no matter how thin a pancake is it still always has two sides.  Look at the situation and really think about what you did to escalate it.  Then forgive yourself.  Right there on paper. Love yourself, Jesus does. 

Now take those letters and destroy them. It’s very cathartic.  

Next tip is you may need to avoid them on social media or in public for a while.  Don’t shun them if you see them public but don’t seek them out, don’t troll their Facebook or instagram.  Run your own race. Plow your own row. 

Love God, Love Them, Love You, Love Always.

I hope this has helped someone. 

Thanks for Reading

Alan 








No comments:

Post a Comment