Monday, August 8, 2016

the Sunflower Patch

It’s Monday which means time for a new blog.  Honestly there is nothing on my mind this week except Mikayla. I haven’t posted much about any of this. I just had nothing to say that didn’t speak of my sadness.  There is plenty of that to go around so I kept quiet.

Some of you knew Mikayla and some of you only knew of her.

As I was walking from the church to my office Sunday during 3rd service something happened to me.  There has been an ache I couldn’t stop. A sadness that permeated everything I did the last few days.  There have been tears and screams. There has been long conversations with God and long silences with my dear friends as we just sit.

I was halfway between the church and my office when I was overwhelmed with joy. I started laughing and crying at the same time. I was just overcome with the idea that I got to know Mikayla.  How incredibly blessed am I that I really got to be a part of her life.

As I said some of you knew her and some of you just knew of her. 
If you knew of her you knew of a girl that had a handicap. Maybe you felt sorry for her. Which was ridiculous because she never felt sorry for herself. You knew of a girl at church that got around better on her hands or in her chair better than half of us get around unassisted. You knew of a girl that never complained, never let her situation get her down. You knew of a happy kid that shared that happiness with total strangers. A girl that always ALWAYS smiled at you.

I however was blessed to get to know her.  Her love of her family and pets. Her wicked little smile when she said something sarcastic to tease me (which was nearly constantly).
I got to hug and hold her, I got to tease and pester her. I got to really know her strength and fearlessness facing the world. Her unceasing overwhelming joy. 
I loved her and I like to think she loved me. 
She was always my priority when James and Heather got to church. I had to get to Mikayla, get my high five and if I was lucky carry her in.

The sense of loss is great but today my sense of privilege is greater. I got to know her, I got to play with her and I got to love her. 
Like the sunflowers she loved so much, she bloomed bright and left us too quickly with just the seeds of memories to cultivate.  
One day I’ll see her again only then her head will be as high as the tops of the sunflowers  in the patch she is undoubtedly planting in heaven and she will run to meet me on healthy legs.  

Thank you Jesus for your mercy and comfort.  
Thank you for loaning that beautiful girl to us if just for six years.  
Thank you for reminding me how blessed we all were.

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