Monday, May 5, 2014

United Night Thoughts

It’s super late and I need to be in bed. There is zero chance i will post this tonight but I need to type it.  Last time i din’t write something when i Felt it on my heart i ended up losing that spark that you know is from God and I never wrote the piece at all.

Tonight was United Night and as always I considered not going. i had a ton of work still to do and Porkpocalypse 2 kept me out all afternoon.
However Bethany was speaking and i wanted to be there to support her and Ethan so I went. 
Here is something I’ll give you for free. EVERYTIME, I have almost stayed home due to sickness or laziness and went anyway I have had the socks blessed off me. Everytime without fail.

Tonight was no exception. Regular United Night stuff, Worship and communion then Bethany spoke.

Odd are unless one of you tell her I mentioned her here she won’t read this so I can speak freely. Remember snitches get stitches. 

Bethany did amazing. She can really hold a room. I saw it last Wednesday night with the teens and again tonight with the whole church. There is a sincerity and a genuine care for others that you can’t fake and that enthralls the public.

Very proud of B & E, great friends and better leaders.

So after Bethany spoke, i felt God nudging me to go to the altar. I needed to go to the altar. Just to get close to Him. I knew it was one of those times where He wasn’t going to meet me at the pew. He wanted me on my knees. 
I didn’t go however because I started thinking “Maybe I shouldn’t, cuz I don’t know if its OK while they are singing.”  
I knew it was ok, I was just being stubborn. I didn’t want to be the first so i stayed in my place. Red-faced and starting to sweat.
Then just as I was about to move, Kelly went to the altar. Well that stopped me because then “everyone will think Im just johnny come lately going up when the preacher did.
Now Im standing there i'm sweating and I just can’t go. I couldn’t do it.

Then thank God for Mady because she went and I had an out. I hit that altar seconds after her. It wasn’t even a question. If I see someone I care about go to the altar I can’t physically stop myself from going. I have no control so I was there before I even knew it.

When I got there the plan was to pray for Mady and make sure she knew she wasn’t alone. I had no voice. I was so choked up and almost sobbing from my failure and overthinking that i couldn’t pray for her. 
So I didn’t, I had no voice. Instead for a good 30 seconds or more I prayed for strength and forgiveness and like “that” (I snapped my fingers while i typed this to illustrate how quick it was) I had my voice back and my mind flooded with things to comfort and encourage.

After it had passed I leaned over and thanked Mady for the strength she had that I lacked.
Mady went to the front tonight for her, at least thats what she thought. Instead or along with she went for me.  
See Mady didn’t care who saw her go to the altar. She didn’t care how cool she looked, or didn’t look. At that moment it was only her and God and she had no choice but to fall at His feet.
Thats something I’ve struggled with. How will it look? Will people think Im a kiss up? will they think I’m fake if I hit the altar every time I feel the tug?
Will they think its all show if I raise my hands durring a song? Did I keep my hand up long enough? too long?

The answer is NO!  I’ve been going to church for 35 years and you know how many times I can remember thinking something bad about someone that went to the altar?   Never, not once and Ive been thinking about it since about 9 o’clock,  its 1 am now.
I was raised baptist people. Thats one old school altar call a week minimum for a good 30 years.
Thats going to church with people i didn’t like going to the altar. Show off loud people that I’d avoid in regular life and i don’t remember once thinking anything bad about them going to the altar.

No one remembers that stuff. 

God wants us to drop what we are doing.  He wants us to leave out nets and follow him NOW!  Not only when no one is looking. Not only when you think you can “pull it off”.

Jesus just said “Come” and thats what we need to do. Immediately before the enemy has time to keep you in your seat. 

Mark 2: 14 “Strolling along, He saw Levi, son of Alphaeus, at his work collecting taxes. Jesus said “Come along with Me” He came.
That verse leaves no room for Levi to consider the proposition. He Went.

We get used to calling our relationship with God our “walk” when so often He wants us to stop walking and fall to His feet.  

Thank you for your message tonight B, thank you Mady for your courage and thank you Lifepoint for letting me be a part of you even with my proclivities.

Thanks for Reading

No comments:

Post a Comment