However I'm feeling bad that I missed church. It's my fault that I didn't get the work done earlier. I missed a blessing tonight because I procrastinate. I saw a picture Cinnamon posted of a song that the Worship Band did tonight and I am genuinely sad I missed it.
I have an overwhelming guilt since Feb if I miss a church service. I want to be a hard worker in the church, a constant reliable face then I miss a Wednesday & just feel awful.
I got the assignment that i was working on today on Monday and I knew my Deadline was coming but I worked on other stuff. I just kept thinking the same thing "I'll start it in a little bit".
Still things came up and I goofed off.
If I had to pick my biggest Issue. I'd have to say that it is "tomorrow".
Tomorrow, ill make it to the gym. Tomorrow ill start a devotional. Tomorrow i'll cut out sugar. Tomorrow I'll only drink water. Tomorrow ill start that assignment. Tomorrow I'll clean. Tomorrow I'll do laundry.
It's not just stuff I need to do its stuff I want to do. Tomorrow I'll get back to my xbox game of Tomb Raider. Tomorrow I'll read those magazines I've saved. Tomorrow I'll sketch. I have 5-6 movies I've downloaded that I haven't watched because when I download them I think I'll watch them that night. Then I get done with art for the day and I just spend time checking social media and catching up on DVR'd stuff that then its too late to start a movie. So I think, I'll watch that tomorrow.
The thing is that I 100% believe it when I think it.
It's usually when I am about to turn in for the night. I get up, turn the tv off and realize all the things I didn't get done.
I run a list in my head and think, "Crap! I'll get to it tomorrow".
Then I lay down & I go to read (usually a digital graphic novel). Thing is when I go to read one I pass my Bible app. Then you guessed it, I think to myself, I'll start that Bible reading program tomorrow. .
It is compounded when things happen like today where I miss something I want to do because I've let it go too close to a deadline.
I have no idea how to change this. It's driving me nuts.
Thanks for reading.
Alan
Intentionally, but hey, who am I kidding, I'm still waiting for tomorrow too.
ReplyDeleteYou are so not alone on this. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDelete