Sunday, May 19, 2013

Pulling my weight or Pulling others down?

Three months ago on Feb 13th my life was changed forever.

We've talked about this so no need to recap.

Now I find myself 3 months later and I am worried that my actions are not following my spirit like they should.

I greet every Sunday at church both services. It is without a doubt my absolute favorite part of the week.
I want to do more but, I'm not sure what.  I tried teaching the 5th and 6th graders. I didn't really enjoy it. I felt a little uncomfortable and it was interesting with my greeting which I love so I asked to be taken off the schedule.
Now I wonder if that wasn't a mistake. for 2 reasons actually.

1) They need the help for sure. The people that do all the teaching are spread pretty thin and I can physically do the job.

2) It put me outside my comfort zone. That was my big issue, i din't feel comfortable so I didn't think I was doing that good of a job.
Out of our comfort zone though is where God wants us.
I was all gung ho to help wherever they needed me then when I didn't like it I stopped. Maybe I need to talk to Bridget.

Then there was the Wednesday morning prayer meeting. I stopped going because it was killing my productivity. I couldn't stay up late and work on Tuesdays because I had to get up so early. Then after the meeting I would be jazzed for about an hour and a half to two hours then I crashed and I'd sleep my Wednesday afternoon away and then go to church that night so I was getting zero work done then.

So now its just Sunday and Wednesdays I don't feel like I'm doing much for the church. I want to do
more, I'm just not sure where I belong.

I'm not keeping up with my blog properly. I have been wanting to post one about following our leaders but just haven't yet.

It's frustrating.  I want to help out anywhere I can then I get the chance and I turn it down. As you can see I'm really conflicted about this 5th and 6th grade thing.

I don't want the fire to go out but I don't feel I'm giving it enough work fuel.  Plus I want to be a better example to others.

Ugh, can't stop thinking about this and I have work I should be doing here at the house.

Thanks for reading

Alan

or Brother Whiskers depending on how you know me.

2 comments:

  1. Okay so this is my dilemma also in regards to the church and serving. I have a very hard time when I see others who are always serving (stupid I know) and I think.... man I should be doing this also. However, there are seasons to our lives, there are priorities and you know what, when you work instead of going to prayer meeting, you are fulfilling your duty as a father, husband and provider to your family. It is a difficult balance for sure. As far as being out of your comfort zone, I think God gives us gifts that he wants us to use, if yours isn't teaching 5th and 6th graders.. so be it. You will find that niche that you need, I am saying this because I am also waiting to find mine. Im not exactly "outgoing"..lol... and Im fairly awkward but I know God will use me and Ill just try to do what I can until I find that sweet spot:)
    Stephanie Martin

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    1. Thanks Stephanie, sometimes it just feels like I'm "Seeking third the Kingdom of Heaven"

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