Friday, February 8, 2013

Mental Exorcisms

Ok, I was raised by women, I'm pretty sensitive and I talk about feelings a lot.

I'm having a weird day.

I have a lot on my mind and mostly its about my ex-best.

I haven't talked to him in months, not since Oct 17 last year.

I have 2 theories  on how our friendship went from pretty tight to non existent.

I won't go into details here because I have a suspicion that he lurks my twitter and my blog and I really don't want to offend him anymore than I have.  I have an uncanny ability to not lurk.  Partially its a skill and partially its a fear of seeing something that would make me mad or feel bad. 

I've just been thinking about it today. I go from being totally ok with it because it was his decision to stop talking to me to sad that I lost possibly the closest friend I'll ever have.

So yes, I am hurt.  I am sad about it, I don't think I did anything wrong. My biggest problem was thinking that my friendship to him was as important as his was to me.  That is to say I put more stock in it than he did.  Our friendship was a big part of my life and just a peripheral to him. 

Am I better off now? Yes I am, but that doesn't stop me thinking about it once in a while.  
I'm better because I now am more present in my home life. 

So there, that kinda made me feel better today.



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